The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Monday, April 04, 2005

I'm trying to find one word that will sum up last night's 2005 season opener. Um, pathetic? Slip-shod? Half-assed? An athletic burlesque? I think the one thing that seperates my blog from the sea of other Red Sox blogs on the internet is that I'm less interested in good journalism and more interested in shoot-from-the-hip ranting and negativity, so lets just get right to it, shall we?

1. Johnny Damon looked like absolute garbage last night. He looked totally lost at the plate and looked sluggish in the outfield. I realize that he would have been unable to get to several of the (many) balls hit his way last night, but on a couple of plays he looked like Kenny Lofton. That's the 2004 Kenny Lofton, not the 1996 Kenny Lofton, if you catch my drift. I'm not going to get too pissed off 'cause it was only the first game of the season and it was like 42 degrees in New York, but perhaps Damon should start concentrating more on playing baseball (he had a .093 average in spring training) now that the season is underway and less on his book tour bullshit. Maybe it's just me.

2. Edgar Renteria. One really nice play to end the second inning. Then ugh. But I'm willing to chalk that up to nerves.

3. Manny Ramirez. Shitty at-bats. But no worry on this front. Except that I still hate the hairdo.

4. David Ortiz, however, was rocking a nice finger-wave last night, which looks good on him. He also got a nifty double down the first base line in the second inning and later came around to score the first run of the game. If I would have known then that it was one of only two runs that the Sox would score I may have been less celebratory, but hey, it was still fun to watch.

5. Kevin Millar. I'm not even going to talk about his performance in the game since I don't really remember that much except for him being robbed of a homerun by what I will grudgingly admit to being a nice catch by Hideki "At Least I'm Not As Ugly As Randy Johnson But I'm Still Really Fucking Ugly" Matsui. Instead, I'm going to tell you that this year I have been modeling my batting stance off of Millar and I'll be goddamned if I haven't been getting a shitload more hits. No lie.

6. Varitek. <>How cool was it to see that C on his chest??? < /shameless geekery >

7. Jay Payton had a pretty good night in comparison with the general shittiness of the Red Sox last night, driving in Big Dada for his first RBI of the season. Played a decent right field.

8. Bill Mueller - give it up for my StL homie, reppin' Maryland Heights, Missourri all the way. Word is bond.

9. Mark Bellhorn has a fucking hockey haircut. Let me tell you something about Mark Bellhorn: Whenever he bats from the right side of the plate, Mike and I say that it's Bellhorn's evil twin brother "Barry Bellhorn," and so we attribute all of his shitty right-handed at bats to Barry, not Mark. But Barry got a double last night and had a couple of nifty plays at second. Well done, Barry.

This would be the fifth consecutive losing opening game that the Red Sox have pulled off. Way to go, gang. But I find that I can't really work up that much vitriole over it - that's the great thing about the first couple weeks of baseball. I'm just so fucking excited for the season to start that it doesn't matter how they play, in a way.

Now I must end the post and go out and celebrate the Reds Opening Day in true Cincinnati fashion, which means drinking before eleven in the afternoon. I also hope to be attending the game to cheer on Petey, so hopefully I'll have some pics for you all later. Until then, GO SOX! :)