The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Finally! We were able to watch our first entire baseball game of the season. Sunday's game found me a bit too drunk at the end to pay attention, Monday we didn't get into the game until the middle of the third inning, and last night our cable went out. But by God we watched all 54 outs of today's game, and what a game it was.

Apparently, upon seeing the scarlet letter "B" on an opposing hat, Mariano Rivera turns into a pants-wetting, shriveled up old man. Last year I was trying to be gracious about it, even making excuses like "well, when a team sees Rivera as much as the Sox do, you're bound to have some success against him," (which was also my Pedro excuse.) But now I'm sort of contemplating outright ownership of Rivera by the Sox. For those of you counting, today was Rivera's fourth consecutive blown save against the Red Sox. They have a phrase in Panama for four consecutive blown saves: "No bueno."

The game was tied up in the eighth thanks to a 2 RBI single by Millar and solo homeruns by A-Rod and Tino Martinez (who was given a totally gratuitous and nauseating curtain call my god I fucking hate the Yankees and their douchebag fans.) Embree put Tony Womack on in the eighth and Mike "the Iron Eagle" Timlin allowed him to score over the agonizing journey that were his two outs of the inning (two walks, one hit-by-pitch.) If I hadn't already known that somehow, some way Rivera had blown (another) save, I think I would have had my first angry spell of the season at this point, mostly over the fact that Timlin was left in to face Matsui when he obviously had nothing working. But somehow the Sox escaped only one run down, and in the top of the ninth in came El Shittero de Bedos. Two-thirds of an inning, three hits, three earned runs, three walks and one strike-out.

But wait a second! - you're asking yourself. The Sox won 7-3 - how did Mo only earn three of the four runs that occurred in the ninth inning? Well, I'm so glad you asked.

Thanks to Alex Rodriguez's miserable failure at a Harlem Globetrotters impersonation in which he actually appeared to dribble the fucking baseball in the dirt between third and second, Bill Mueller was allowed to score the tying run. No matter how cool A-Rod tries to look, he will always be the fucking nerd.

And that, my friends, is the first Red Sox win of the year. Only 159 games left! :(