The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Sunday, January 30, 2005


It's cool to be a cook. :) Posted by Hello

Looking at this picture reminds me of a conversation that Mike and I have had a couple times: If the Red Sox 25- man roster worked in our kitchen, what jobs would they have?

We always start out by saying who we'd want for a station partner. You work side-by-side with your station partner about 30-hours a week, so it's super important that you get along well. And assuming that you're going to be the lead cook on the station, you need your partner to be able to handle his/her job so that you're not constantly getting yelled at by the chef team because your station is in disarray. And furthermore, ideally you want someone who is intelligent, quick, and capable. So that pretty much ruled Manny out of the running for my Fantasy Fish Partner. If I had to pick someone out of the 2004 roster to be my station partner I would have picked Cabrera, hands down. He's fast, he's smart, and he's down with the handshake thing so he could learn our Fish Station Secret Handshake with no problem. (Yes, it actually exists because we're nerds.) Mike picked Millar, because Mike likes to be entertained. I personally would picture Millar as more of a pantry-type guy - low-level responsibility with lots of time to fuck around with everyone else in the kitchen.

I hate to say this, but Manny seems like the cool dishwasher that would work the window by my station and whom I would constantly be teasing and slipping free food every now and then. Varitek would be the chef controlling the line from the middle. Bellhorn would be a busboy. I could picture Ortiz working meat station, perhaps...he's one of those guys who is real big and sort of bulky but moves faster and is more efficient than you would imagine. Pedro would be a server, since they are usually a) charismatic, b) ingrateful drama magnets and c) gay, or at least really effeminate. And I am giggling right now picturing Pedro making bananas foster tableside in a tuxedo! Johnny Damon would make a great steward - the guy that does all the ordering for the restaurant and deals with all the purveyors, who mainly stays in the basement but who gets along with everybody. I could picture Bill Mueller as a fish purveyor, walking backwards through the backdoor, pulling a handtruck laden with dungeness crab and tuna loins.

Ya. So. This is the kind of thing you start thinking about when you don't have any details from an actual fucking baseball game to ruminate upon. I'm all excited about spring training starting, but actual Opening Day is all the way in April!!! ::swoons with back of hand pressed to forehead in a "woe-is-me" type of gesture::