The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

I think Tony Massarotti has been reading my blog. On Millar vs. Mientkiewicz: "Seriously, people, was this even a decision?" Dude, holla if you hear me.

If I had to pick one Boston sportswriter who would read my blog for real, however, it would definitely be Dan Shaughnessy, so that he could read about what a bitter, old, loveless fuck-up I think he is. Here, I'm going to make a list of people that I would like to run into on the street sometime when I am staggeringly drunk and my inhibitions are at an extreme low:
1. Dan Shaughnessy
2. Peyton Manning
3. Rocco DiSpirito (the "chef" from the show "The Restaurant")
4. Pedro Martínez (who knows, this could actually happen in April. Headline in the sports page of the Cincinnati Post: "Young Over the Rhine Woman Assaults Mets Pitcher with his Own Bobblehead Doll While Screaming 'Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire.'")
5. Carrot Top

Elsewhere in the world, Rich Garces, a.k.a. El Guapo, is missing and feared kidnapped in Venezuela.......You know, I used to have this daydream when I was a kid about taking a car from Cincinnati all the way down through Mexico and South America to the tip of Chile. My family was friends with a bunch of Colombians because the guy upstairs from us married this beautiful Colombian woman, and her family would tell me about how beautiful their region of the world was (they would also give me shots of Aguadiente and have me stand on their shoes and salsa dance with me) and would teach me some spanish and stuff, and I wanted to go down there with them....but there is NO WAY I could make that trip now. I might make it through Mexico and Guatemala, but getting through El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, Colombia and Venezuela sounds like it might be asking for a machete to the forehead. Let's make a list of places Sarah would like to go but which are now too violent to encourage tourism:
1. Egypt
2. Jerusalem
3. Central/South America
4. Gary, Indiana
5. Eastern/Central Africa
Why do people have to fuck everything up? Anyhow, I hope Rich Garces (and Ugie's mama) will be safe and sound ASAP...and maybe he should consider an off-season home in Florida?