Me and my station partner. Isn't work fun?
1. Edgar Renteria: Overpaid. But sounds like my kind of player. I'm sure I'll have some stupid nickname for him before the third week of the season is over.
2. Randy Johnson to MFYs: Would rather be the Diamondbacks in this deal. File under: who gives a fuck.
3. Is Theo just cooking up something so crazy that I can't even imagine it at this point, or is he having an off off-season?
4. Is it right to worry about off-season moves when my team just won the World Series?
5. Life in a professional kitchen the week before Christmas:
- I come into work on Tuesday (I think...the days are all running together for me at this point,) and a "water" pipe has burst somewhere in the restaurant, causing the ENTIRE basement and lower kitchen to smell literally like shit. Water pipe? Methinks not. Try "sewer pipe." So while all of us upstairs cooks are studiously prepping in the downstairs area while the lunch cooks upstairs finish up, all of the sudden, the lights go out. Now we are prepping in near total darkness. On top of an overwhelming odor much like someone had just taken a shit on our upper lips. Did we even pause? Did our knives even stop moving? Did we even try to go find a manager? No. No, we did not. We just looked around at each other, shrugged, laughed a little, and carried on. It's sick. But we really didn't. No one moved from their cutting board. When a manager finally did come to fix the fuse, they had to carry a flashlight with them to see. Fucking ridiculous. I should have listened to my mother.
- Fun At Work: My sous chef kept pretending like he was going to strangle me, so I told him to go ahead and try until I told him to stop. Dumb idea. Much like the time I let him drop a meat fork on my hand because I didn't think it would hurt.
- "Mmmmmm...this smells awesome! What is it? Is it a lime or a lemon?
"I don't know, I heard it was a lime, but it's like, yellow like a lemon."
"Well, the inside is light green, like a lime." *squeezes the fruit, smells* "Ya, it smells like a lime."
"Well then why is it yellow?"
*takes fruit segment and pops it into mouth, sucking a bit, then pulling it back out*
"Definitely a lime."
*sous chef walks up*
"What are you doing with chef's lime?"
"This is chef's lime?"
"Ya. It came from France. Haven't you seen him putting pieces in his water?"
*puts lime back on counter and walks away*
My job is pretty cool, I guess.