(Insert typical "Sarah once again finds herself wanting to mother Manny Ramírez in new and ridiculous ways such as putting him in pajamas with footies, a drop-seat and built-in mittens, giving him a jello pudding pop and plopping him down in front of "Ed, Edd and Eddy" quote here.)
What can I say? I love Manny.
But goddamnit, dude - pay just a little fucking attention, will you?
That said, I am absolutely gleeful that the Sox came away with a win in game 1 - thanks to a two-run homer by none other than Mark "En Fuego" Bellhorn, not to mention a first inning, three-run homer by David "Big DaDa" Ortiz.
Is it just me, or does it seem like a totally different ballgame when Johnny Damon is hitting once again?
And is it just me, or does Manny look like a train wreck of a human being? The past week he has looked god-awful, as if he has been sleeping on a fucking park bench or something. What's up, dude? Are you having a mid-life crisis or something? Messy divorce? Constipation? I mean, what is it? Manny went from looking like a goddamn hitting machine in the ALDS to looking like a miserable wretch in just under three days. Meanwhile, Ortiz and goddamn Mark Bellhorn are putting on a fucking clininc. Manny. (Insert imaginary eye-contact here.) Dude. Seriously. Get your shit together. Please. Do it for the kids.
And is it just me, or does Julian Tavares look like Freddy Kruger? And have you seen that dude's bloated hand?? It looks like he has a fucking puffer fish hanging out of his sleeve. Or like he has one human hand and one Mickey Mouse hand. Fucked up.
Anyhow - big win tonight. Morris vs. Schilling tonight.
Somehow, I still can't believe it's actually happening.