The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Terry Francona's Top 10 Ways to Create a Line-up
1. alphabetically
2. by shoe size
3. Pin the Tail on the Donkey, only with players names and a great big line-up card
4. dart board
5. puts player's faces on the dots on a Twister mat and then makes Dave Wallace and Euclides Rojas play a game.
6. Wild Turkey and percoset
7. Makes an extra-large bowl of Rice Krispies and listens to what Snap, Crackle and Pop suggest to him.
8. eye color
9. OPS....backwards
10. Counts the number of steps he must take from his car to the dugout, divides it by the time that he arrives, multiplies that by the jersey number of the first player he sees, and whatever the result is Tito embezzles a corresponding amount out of company funds and goes out and pays for a blowjob from a transvestite crack whore.  Tito then divides the number of head-bobs the shemale must make for him to blow a load by the number of times he had to drive around the block looking for just the right whore, and if any player has the resulting number in their birthdate they will be included in the line up.  Should there be less than nine players with that number in their birthdate, random people from the crowd will be chosen to stand in.