1) Sox pick up another win tonight thanks to a solid outing by Schilling and offensive help by J.D. and Manny. Sox could sweep tomorrow, but Derek "Loose Cannon" Lowe is pitching, so I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
2) Theo & Co. are actively shopping Byung Hyun Kim, and are reportedly even willing to eat some of his 2-year, $10 million contract. GOOD. That guy is a waste of money, I would rather see a dishwasher from work out on the mound than that guy, and I hope he gets a case of gonorrhea so severe that he feels compelled to hold it for hours before he pees due to the excruciating burning sensations. Oh wait...if he gets gonorrhea, then he would have to have had sex, which means he might have enjoyed himself, and I definitely don't want that. Maybe a horrendous urinary tract infection. And I know what you're thinking - who will Sarah pick on merciliessly now that her least favorite player will no longer be on the team? Have no fear! There is always Brian Daubach and Cesar Crespo, (and Nomar, if he ever decides that he is well enough to play.)
3) Speaking of Nomar, it looks like Trot will be coming back first, and that's fine with me. If I have to watch Kevin Millar do one of his patented "Sack-o-Taters" bellyflops out in right field I might cringe so severely that I will shrink and become lost in the seat cushion.
4) The announcers on YES are the seat-sniffingest, most self-congratulatory assholes I've ever heard of.
5) I love being a cook. Why, you ask? Soft-shell crabs, cipollini onions, ramps, fiddlehead ferns, alaskan king salmon, white asparagus, meyer lemons...I get to play with all this awesome food all day, and get paid. How cool is that? I love what I do...this week, hehe.
6) I am not, I repeat (more for my benefit than yours) NOT going to get upset about the Manny on-the-trading-block-still rumor on DirtDogs (which I read second-hand through Bambino's Curse since I do not read DirtDogs anymore.) Nope. Not upset at all. Cooooool as a cucumber. Full steam ahead, confidence in management, wanting to field a competetive teamOHMYGOD WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING THEO YOU TWERP DO NOT TRADE MY MOST FAVORITE RED SOX EVER I JUST GOT USED TO HAVING HIM BACK AFTER THE TRAUMATIC OFF-SEASON WHO WILL HIT THE HOMERS? WHO WILL GET THE RIBBIES? WHO WILL I SHAMELESSLY UNDRESS WITH MY EYES DURING EVERY AT-BAT? WHOOOOOO????anyway, um, what was I saying?
7) While I'm on the topic of DirtDogs and Manny, let my very pettily point out that I am...amused, I suppose would be the right word, by the way DirtDog brazenly kisses Manny's ass on Manny's website, given all the trash that he has talked/will talk again about Mr. Ramírez. It's petty. I know that. But I dislike insincerity and ball-washing in any arena. And this is my forum, damnit, and I'm entitled to my petty opinions.
Thursday, May 20, 2004